I don't know what the helicopter was searching for, I was asking myself. Is it taking photos, Is it watching criminal on loose, Or is there a new pilot learning how to fly it?
For moment I got bored with it and started playing solitaire cards on my phone but then I glanced up to see if the helicopter was gone and noticed there were 2 airplanes up in the blues one was close but the other was too far and as I stared at it the far one which was too small to see, it disappeared in a small cloud for moment then reappeared with its windows sparkled with the sun and shone and then it disappeared into the blue skies.
In that moment my childhood memories that I have forgotten for years poured into my mind, remembering of how I used to see those iron birds flying high on the air above me constantly while I stared from the ground thinking of what are those iron birds are like and how can they fly high on the air without flapping their wings, or how many people can they take. 10 I would assumed since its usually small when its too far until one day I flew on it to here. That was the first and the last day.
So I held my head up still for moment so the tears don't run down, this is what usually happens when I remember the old times I had, I have missed nature so much that ever since I left nomad I have not seen any nature in here or anywhere everywhere I go is buildings, roads, bridges, and even the trees and flowers are planted by people nothing is nature in here everything is sculpted and planted and made by people, I admit it's beautiful here and I admire the way people love plants and take care of the environment instead of chopping trees, and cutting all of the grass but nothing is compared to (Mama Africa)
By saying I have missed my old days I don't mean the abuse, the neglect, the FGM, the insane grandma or having mama's little helper uncle or the spoiled brat cousins, what I missed is the tending the family animals, feeding the lamb and goat kids, milking, helping them when the thorns dig deep into their hooves or when their fur is filled with ticks I would kill all of the ticks and dig the thorns out, digging deep in the ground to find tree roots for our hut, cutting tall grass to weave grass mats for our hut, sleeping under the stars at night and the heavenly tree shades, seeing all kind of wild animals, climbing hills or small mountains, running like free, doing somersaults, side flips, singing and knowing no one is watching, when I get wounds I was healed with herb plants instead of medicines, I used to carve thorns in it's back and make a small hall in which I put a thread and used for sewing when there was no needle around, it's countless of work I used to do and everyday I had a long task to do.
I have been in heavy rain with no shelter around, I have been in dust storms with no shelter, no glasses to wear to see things, no mask to cover nose and mouth, I have seen rain seasons and it's beautifulness and blessings , and I have seen dry seasons and it's tragedies and these are all nature where you don't fear of things but trust your instinct instead.
I missed the songs I used to sing for the animals when I was herding them, the songs I used to sing for the smart ass fox that I was not afraid of it if it tried to eat my animals, the songs I used to sing when I was shaking the milk to produce butter, and the lullabies I used to sings for my little cousins which I don't even remember a word of it.
I have never gained an lbs of weight but now I'm from XS to soon XL, I can't believe who really I became, I used to love the animals but today I have no an animal in my home, I used to be their friend but today no friend at all, I used to work hard restlessly but now I just sit here, doing nothing, being nobody.
In my self esteem this is a huge down ward change except raising my daughter I don't do any other important works or personal pleasure, hobbies etc, and I believe change must be done sooner. I think writing my blog, reading books, and going to college will help me kick start my career as a new journey.
