As I mentioned in my previous articles that I have been running away for three years or so and in that time I may run away hundred times can't count it but there is one thing that I can count and that is I only had one companion in that time frame.
It was one of the holy spring morning which was my favorite mornings after we let the herds out I was assigned to tend the lambs and goat kids the area was a big, wide desert but since it was spring and rained pretty perfect the desert produced both tall and short green grasses the tallest grasses were around our knees but in four miles it had no tall trees fortunately we were on the corner so we had tall trees to rest during the sunny days but those who lived in the middle of the desert struggled to get shades for their herds and making the herd pens to prevent from straying at night and keep them safe from the predators. They cut trees from miles away and carried the branches all the way to make the herd pens and huts to let the animal rest from the sun.
That morning as I was laying on the grassy ground belly down, foot and head up thinking out loud of what to do or if I could run again at that time running away became a habit to me sometimes I run away in fear of abuse sometimes I did it to explore the world around me, it was really pleasant to be free and feel safe knowing that I was away from the hands of my abusers but I still had the worst fear that they'll find me sooner or later and there will be a price that I must pay for doing this however I didn't care I just didn't want the fear to control me. I wanted to go somewhere new, meet some stranger new people and or at least spend few days away from my abusers.
However that day I didn't have a plan in store for me I just been talking to myself of what to do until a distant cousin of my mother's daughter Ayaan approached me, she was with their goat/sheep we sat and began chit chats but then all of a sudden Ayaan said let's run away together. This was a shock for me because no one ever said such things like this. The whole region was against me the local girls were advised to chase me away if I come near them they were told that I was going to manipulate them and take them with me, they were told that I was such and such a taboo filthy little girl, the reason is that my grandmother influenced the neighbors by telling them that devil took me away from them and that no matter what they do nothing can stop me wandering away she told the neighbors to keep their girls away from me mostly she told them to chase me away and tell me to go back home if seen me around. her biggest fear was that one day I'll be found dead or carrying a bastard child this is one of the main reasons why she chained my legs in that time frame, the main reason why she burned my private body and so on. I have been labeled so many names for it like suraaf/baxsato (The one who runs away) or Dawarsato ( The beggar). No wonder in their logic I was a beggar.
I could not say a word for a moment thinking what to say because I have never asked someone to run away with me nor anyone ever asked me to run away with them, and finally I said, sure let's go. Ayaan turned the herds toward their home and I turned my herds toward my home who cares if they stray or etc, let's take a break from herding. Since it was desert and we would be seen from far distant we crawled like babies who are learning to crawl it was Ayaan's idea and for a mile we crawled the ground was pleasant it was not rocky or hard surfaced, it was soft with beach sand and as well grassy so we didn't have difficulties crawling all the way in a mile then we stood and we run for another mile till we could not see out homes.
I led Ayaan to a village where I went few times before and I knew a family who lived one mile from the village they were a distant cousin of my mother's but I knew no one in the village. The irony is that we have not discussed where to go and how to get there but we both had same dream of going to the bigger cities including the capital city itself Ayaan's paternal grandmother, paternal uncle, paternal aunt and cousins lived in the big city but for me no one was there and I didn't mind going there anyway. We walked, walked and walked half the day and when it was afternoon we arrived the village and asked a villager to give us water but since it was a day light we could not be hospitalized so we decided to sit outside the village few yards away and wait till sunset our plan was to sleep in the village tonight and tomorrow beg the truckers to take us to the cities. We both knew no one will take two young dhoocilos, Dhoocil is a disrespectful (derogatory) name toward young girls however we had to try.
It was almost sunset and we were still sitting there the village herds were around us when a stranger young man suddenly appeared out of nowhere. At first we thought he was heading to the village because he came from the opposite side of the village, he asked us what we were doing there? Ayaan started to argue with him that we're the villagers tending our herds since the village herds were around us with no one tending them but it seemed the guy knew who we were and what we were doing here I think he was send by someone in the village who knew us but didn't want to show him/their face(s) because the guy could not identify which one is me and which is Ayaan that tells that the guy was sent to us by someone who didn't want to come to us maybe in fear that we might run , I guess there were neighbors of ours who saw us when we went to the village for water and was watching us all this time so when it was time to go home he/they wanted to take us back home and didn't want to ruin it if he/they come to us so he/they sent the guy to take us to them and then they take us back to our families or whatever intention they had although the guy was our neighbor as well but since he could not identify which is me or which is Ayaan. How could he recognize us or know its us?
Ayaan fought with the guy, she yelled at him telling that she was going to her home I could see her hands shaking of fear, her voice breaking, and she was scared since it was her first time to be away from her family. I stood there watching the whole scene silent and motionless I could not say to the guy. Hey you're not our parent/guardian and taking us back home is neither your responsibility nor your business so back off, I could not because since I left my family and was not going to another family member it felt shameful and I guess I didn't have words to say to him in me or the strength to say. Hey back off, leave her alone. For a minute I had to think. Think, think, think and finally came up with an idea, the only way that I could defeat this guy was to run to my mother's distant cousin who lived outside the village half a mile since we were sitting between the village and his home it was close.
I took my stiff sandals made out of layered animal hides and tiptoed for few feet and then run as fast as I could the guy have not looked back at me the whole time. He was busy pulling Ayaan's shawl and dirac a long gown worn by somali women telling her to go with him back home finally he glanced his back when I was almost there because he was desperate and wanted to try me however I feared he might chase me but he didn't he calmly stayed with Ayaan for few more minutes then he come after me calm and walking in normal steps. I arrived my mother's cousin's home but at the time it was empty they were tending the herds so I sat in front of the hut and waited the guy to come and get me I somehow feared he might forcefully carry me to Ayaan and then force us both to back home anyway nothing I could do so I sat and waited him.
He came to me, his first question was. Do you know this family? Yes I responded the man of this family is my mother's cousin.
He then asked. Are not you the Ahmed girl? No. I told him the Ahmed girl is the one you took and were torturing. He then told me that he was thinking that Ayaan was me and told me that if Ayaan does not know this family go get her, I thought he was manipulating me to go to her so he have the opportunity to take us together if we reunite so I told him you took her from me now bring her to me but I'm not going anywhere he went and come back with Ayaan who crawled few feet he followed her crawl marks and while he was away fetching her the family come to their home to find me sitting in front of their home because they knew me for previous hospitality they were not surprised after he dropped Ayaan and confirmed that the family is a distant relative of my mother's he finally went away.
As I mentioned in my previous articles that I have been running away for three years or so and in that time I may run away hundred times can't count it but there is one thing that I can count and that is I only had one companion in that time frame.
That morning as I was laying on the grassy ground belly down, foot and head up thinking out loud of what to do or if I could run again at that time running away became a habit to me sometimes I run away in fear of abuse sometimes I did it to explore the world around me, it was really pleasant to be free and feel safe knowing that I was away from the hands of my abusers but I still had the worst fear that they'll find me sooner or later and there will be a price that I must pay for doing this however I didn't care I just didn't want the fear to control me. I wanted to go somewhere new, meet some stranger new people and or at least spend few days away from my abusers.
However that day I didn't have a plan in store for me I just been talking to myself of what to do until a distant cousin of my mother's daughter Ayaan approached me, she was with their goat/sheep we sat and began chit chats but then all of a sudden Ayaan said let's run away together. This was a shock for me because no one ever said such things like this. The whole region was against me the local girls were advised to chase me away if I come near them they were told that I was going to manipulate them and take them with me, they were told that I was such and such a taboo filthy little girl, the reason is that my grandmother influenced the neighbors by telling them that devil took me away from them and that no matter what they do nothing can stop me wandering away she told the neighbors to keep their girls away from me mostly she told them to chase me away and tell me to go back home if seen me around. her biggest fear was that one day I'll be found dead or carrying a bastard child this is one of the main reasons why she chained my legs in that time frame, the main reason why she burned my private body and so on. I have been labeled so many names for it like suraaf/baxsato (The one who runs away) or Dawarsato ( The beggar). No wonder in their logic I was a beggar.
I could not say a word for a moment thinking what to say because I have never asked someone to run away with me nor anyone ever asked me to run away with them, and finally I said, sure let's go. Ayaan turned the herds toward their home and I turned my herds toward my home who cares if they stray or etc, let's take a break from herding. Since it was desert and we would be seen from far distant we crawled like babies who are learning to crawl it was Ayaan's idea and for a mile we crawled the ground was pleasant it was not rocky or hard surfaced, it was soft with beach sand and as well grassy so we didn't have difficulties crawling all the way in a mile then we stood and we run for another mile till we could not see out homes.
I led Ayaan to a village where I went few times before and I knew a family who lived one mile from the village they were a distant cousin of my mother's but I knew no one in the village. The irony is that we have not discussed where to go and how to get there but we both had same dream of going to the bigger cities including the capital city itself Ayaan's paternal grandmother, paternal uncle, paternal aunt and cousins lived in the big city but for me no one was there and I didn't mind going there anyway. We walked, walked and walked half the day and when it was afternoon we arrived the village and asked a villager to give us water but since it was a day light we could not be hospitalized so we decided to sit outside the village few yards away and wait till sunset our plan was to sleep in the village tonight and tomorrow beg the truckers to take us to the cities. We both knew no one will take two young dhoocilos, Dhoocil is a disrespectful (derogatory) name toward young girls however we had to try.
It was almost sunset and we were still sitting there the village herds were around us when a stranger young man suddenly appeared out of nowhere. At first we thought he was heading to the village because he came from the opposite side of the village, he asked us what we were doing there? Ayaan started to argue with him that we're the villagers tending our herds since the village herds were around us with no one tending them but it seemed the guy knew who we were and what we were doing here I think he was send by someone in the village who knew us but didn't want to show him/their face(s) because the guy could not identify which one is me and which is Ayaan that tells that the guy was sent to us by someone who didn't want to come to us maybe in fear that we might run , I guess there were neighbors of ours who saw us when we went to the village for water and was watching us all this time so when it was time to go home he/they wanted to take us back home and didn't want to ruin it if he/they come to us so he/they sent the guy to take us to them and then they take us back to our families or whatever intention they had although the guy was our neighbor as well but since he could not identify which is me or which is Ayaan. How could he recognize us or know its us?
Ayaan fought with the guy, she yelled at him telling that she was going to her home I could see her hands shaking of fear, her voice breaking, and she was scared since it was her first time to be away from her family. I stood there watching the whole scene silent and motionless I could not say to the guy. Hey you're not our parent/guardian and taking us back home is neither your responsibility nor your business so back off, I could not because since I left my family and was not going to another family member it felt shameful and I guess I didn't have words to say to him in me or the strength to say. Hey back off, leave her alone. For a minute I had to think. Think, think, think and finally came up with an idea, the only way that I could defeat this guy was to run to my mother's distant cousin who lived outside the village half a mile since we were sitting between the village and his home it was close.
He came to me, his first question was. Do you know this family? Yes I responded the man of this family is my mother's cousin.
He then asked. Are not you the Ahmed girl? No. I told him the Ahmed girl is the one you took and were torturing. He then told me that he was thinking that Ayaan was me and told me that if Ayaan does not know this family go get her, I thought he was manipulating me to go to her so he have the opportunity to take us together if we reunite so I told him you took her from me now bring her to me but I'm not going anywhere he went and come back with Ayaan who crawled few feet he followed her crawl marks and while he was away fetching her the family come to their home to find me sitting in front of their home because they knew me for previous hospitality they were not surprised after he dropped Ayaan and confirmed that the family is a distant relative of my mother's he finally went away.
