How To Get A Deaf Person's Attention

Getting a deaf person’s attention may not be as hard as one thinks, but it’s not as easy as one thinks either, because the deaf world and the hearing world are two very different worlds. They have different cultures, different approaches, and different ways to communicate. Therefore, the deaf world can be a bit difficult for hearing people at first; the same applies to the deaf person when approaching the hearing world because the world is not the same for everyone.

We, the deaf community get approached by hearing people every so often and we’re ready to respond to the strangers who can hear that we are deaf and that we can’t hear what they are saying. And that we are not ashamed to tell you that we are deaf or pretend we can hear you, because we want you to understand that there are hearing impaired individuals among us (humans). We want you to ask us the deaf people what is the best way for us the deaf people to communicate. However, the majority of hearing people just apologize as if they made a mistake by approaching us then leave in a hurry, which is both rude and intimidating to the deaf community. You may think it’s OK to say, ‘I’m sorry’ and walk away when you’ve finally gotten a deaf person’s attention.   But honestly, it’s intimidating, disappointing, and beyond rude.

It takes us (deaf people) two minutes to explain to the hearing world that we are deaf. But it takes them two seconds to apologize and disappear. It’s unfair. In this essay, I will proceed to teach you how to approach a deaf person if it’s your first time you met a deaf person for the first time. The more you learn about the deaf culture the better you do when you meet deaf people.

1 Move into their visual field.

In order to get a deaf person’s attention, you must move to their field of vision, which is moving in their front or their both sides. This is a crucial tip for deaf people because a deaf person can’t hear your voice; they need to see you. Making eye contact is also crucial for this in hearing culture too, not only deaf culture.

2 Tap their shoulder gently with the pad of your fingers.

Attach your four fingers together to make them a pad of fingers then gently tap the deaf person’s shoulders, there is no specific shoulder – just tap the shoulder closest to you and make it about three taps. No pokes, no slapping, and no punching or other inappropriate things because it will be rude, and you’ll get a frowning face from whoever’s attention you were trying to get. Don’t worry about receiving backlash about touching a stranger, since deaf people are so used the touch. As long as you tap the correct place, which is their shoulders.

3 Wave your hands in the air.

This tip is very important but it’s even more important to move into the person’s visual field first. After you move into their field of vision, wave one or both of your hands in the air and repeat this until the person sees you or your hands are too tired to move anymore.  But if waving is no use to them, find another way to approach them.

4 Rap the table.

This tip is used when you are sitting at a table with a group or an individual, but the person you’re sitting with is a little too far for you to reach his/her shoulders to tap and won’t respond to your waving hands. Don’t worry, just rap the table not too violently just a bit gently so the table can send enough vibration to the person. Do that only if the person is in contact with the table otherwise the vibration won’t work for the individual. This is a very effective way to get a deaf person’s attention when the place is too crowded, or the audience is too busy communicating.

5 Flick light but not too fast.

This is used for audience or a room full of deaf people. Turn the light off and wait for about two seconds before turning it on again. This is important because if you flick the light in a fast pace, it will indicate an emergency, and you don’t want to frighten your class/audience, or make the room look haunted. This is for an audience, so if you want an individual pays attention, then you must go and approach the individual by yourself. If you don’t get everyone’s attention by the first flick, repeat the action twice but not 3^rd or 4^th because it would freak the audience out. However, if there are still people who are not attentive yet, ask another person to get their attention.

6 Second hand help.

This tip is used when you ask someone to help you get an individual’s attention. It’s called second hand help, and you tell the person next to your target individual to pass you to his neighbor. This tip is important when it’s hard for you to get the attention of your target individual. For example, you’re in the middle of your assignment speech, but one of your students is hooked with his phone. You don’t want him to miss the important homework assignment, but you can’t suspend the speech and go to approach him in person because he won’t be noticing your waving hands anyway. So, you tell the other students who are attentive to tap him for you, and when they do, you tell him to pay attention for the homework assignment.

7 Establish a comfortable distance.

After you finally get the deaf person’s attention, you establish a comfortable distance. Don’t come too close or stay too far because both are awkward positions while trying to communicate with a deaf person. Therefore, it is essential to maintain your respective distance and be respectful to their boundaries.

PS

I, myself, as a deaf person who is married to a hearing spouse and grew up around hearing people, have experienced many rude ways that people tried to get my attention. I remember that somtimes my own mother who would rather clap or hiss at me knowing my hearing condition, which is a little too sensitive to those noises. However, it was the most annoying thing that ever happened to me. I don’t blame her about this or ever mentioned to her how annoying it was, because she came from a different culture, in a place where there is no deaf culture, and she never had met a deaf person since she arrived in the United States. I’m the first deaf person she ever met. This is the reason I picked this topic for the essay. I want to educate hearing people like my mother, so next time they meet a deaf person, they approach and conversate in a respectful manner.

When you approach a deaf person, and you realize that the person is deaf, never apologize and leave immediately. Because, first of all, deafness is not a disease that we’ll pass to you. It’s a condition, and it doesn’t mean that someone is deaf because they’re miserable or they live in a miserable life. Perhaps you may not intend to act like you’re pitying them for being deaf, but that is how it sounds to the deaf community.

Deaf people don’t want your pity or sympathy. They want your understanding, inclusion, and acceptance. So, if you ever meet a deaf person, don’t just apologize and flee from the scene, instead, asking the person which method works for him or her to communicate. Some deaf people read lips, some write, others use gestures, and we are happy to assist you in every way we can.