Lost my birth date

As I grew up in nomad where all I did was herd the family animals, fetch fire woods, cook dinner, milk and feed the little ones, fetch water from the wells in  nearby or far distance villages, respond granny's calls and do her demands, dig deep on the ground in search of tree roots and cut the grass during rain seasons to wave when it dries and build a  dome-shaped hut, and so on..

I never knew what a  birth date was, I have been asked my age and most of  my responds were I don't  know only times that grandma told me my age was the time I respond as she told me without knowing if it was really the  correct age or she just picked a number out of tiny air since she was an uneducated  illiterate just  like I was.

Out there in my country people don't care much about age or birth date all they ask is YOUR TRIBE/BLOODLINE when a stranger approached  she/he  asked which family I'm from and when  I pointed my tiny finger to our hut and told him/her (that family) then they start   asking about my clan, sub-clan etc. instead of my name, age or anything else.

Even after we moved in a town and I attended school I yet never learned what is a birth date or age, and when I came to the states I didn't understand  in the earlier until 2011 almost 2  years  of my arrival well, I was fed up seeing this date on every paperwork and documents but yet I never asked what is it? and why is it always written next to my name?  so I had to think what is it, I finally understood. Oh mm, this  is the  month I was born, this is the day I was born and this is the year I was born talking to myself. Who else should I ask? I had to figure it out by myself.

As time passed  I joined the social media such as facebook and started talking with people on facebook since I didn't have friends to hang out with most of the time those somali people were asking my age and when I responded they asked. Are you sure it's your real age??? because we know most somalis come to west with fake  age. at  first I knew it of course but I never imagined using  one of those  fabricated  age.

I have been stressing with this in several years because I was scared how will I find out and where will I find it out? My mother and I had no good relationship and most of all I didn't like talking to her unless it's about the kids or the family otherwise I didn't want to talk with her about my birth date.

But one day I dared to ask, I told myself. Whatever it takes give it a try,  so I sent a text asking mom if this is my  correct birth date.

The response was. No. Angry but excited to hear the real birth date. What is it then? I asked. Um May 13th 1989. Thank you I said and  thought it was true but few minutes there was another text. Oops I mean May 13th 1988. OK I said and I decided to try dad's side and see if I can find out the correct date but dad sent me a text saying it was Feb 27th 1989 then he changed response  and told me another date again.

Frustrated with my both parents for  changing their responses I texted mom  again still scared but eager to hear it. I explained  her about  what dad said and I told her I want to  know my real birth date but mom was angry yelled at me as I was expecting her to yell at me. Why did you ask him? he is sane he doesn't remember anything  and why is  age important to you? Why did you gave me this birth date I asked?  I gave you this, I subtracted 2 years from your real age  so you could  obtain education like you did. You got your high school diploma. Didn't you? what is eating you then? I did it for you. You see Aisha's daughter Faiza is crying asking her mother why didn't she make her young so she could be eligible for   high school. After this things were  out of my effort so I decided to just stop it.

I still want to know of course but I don't know where and how am I going to  find it out, it's also not that easy believing my parents after what they did. There was a vital record that mom handed me in 2007 when she visited us in Ethiopia and like I said birth date was something never been on my mind before 2011 so I have never looked the date on the record a brown  old small sheet which mother tore after a week due of her being afraid I might give it to the embassy because she filled with false information with my visa process   and   doing this would be complicated with the information she gave to the embassy.

I don't know what was her reasons of giving me a false birth date but I don't agree of her excuses of giving me the opportunity to get high schools, I mean all the immigrants are eligible for free education even if they are older than  elementary, middle or high school ages   we are still  eligible for adult educations where we can study GET instead of high school diploma and begin   colleges, and this is not something that I'm proud of walking around and telling the world what I'm not actually but I have to live with it for now.

It would not matter if they forgot the day or the month of my birth but the year matters to me, I mean how can both parents simply forget or confuse  the year they had their  first child. I'm the first born of my both parent, however the bright side is that I can tell something when asked my age unlike the old days that I was very embarrassed of not knowing my own age. I'm also confused if this is that my parent completely forgot my birth date or they just got confused and lastly  know there are people just like me who don't know their real ages and birth dates so welcome to the club.